Jesse

I went to church today, other than visiting church back home and a Mormon church (to learn more about the religion) i haven't been to church in two years. I have reached a point in my life where everything has failed me. all the sex, drinking and partying don't drown the pain anymore. It is so sad that it took yet another failed relationship to realize that hole in my life, wasn't love...It was the one that that was always there, whispering in my ear, so fulfilling but your always so busy with your "Life" you ignore it...I mean it is so much easier to party party party and drink drink drink than it is to crack a bible or get down on your knees and pray. The Lord is so fulfilling and it has been a long time since I've listened to him. From this moment on it is time to stop and get my life back on track. For all of those people that think they are in charge of their lives, stop and realize that you control nothing. The Lord our God lets you choose which path to take. I've been on the wrong path for far too long.

Jess

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Maroon 5 - She will be loved

I really need to get away from this place for awhile. I need to be with my family and friends... people who sincerely care about me. Things are going a little bit better. I'm afraid when i go to the Doc's next week they are going to tell me that I am goign to have to have surgery on my knees. I guess that is what happens when you skateboard and run all the time. I just wish things would get better... and stay that way. I need to get my life back on track

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: humming of a fan close by

no matter who i am with. no matter how much i try to be the man i think that i should be. it is never good enough...it may have seemed.. but i always have people on my back reminding me how much of a fuck up i supposedly am.. seems like no matter how much i lie to myself.. or how upbeat i try to be..everything i do in life, i'm a failure.

Jealousy is a bitch

MARINES TOUR GETTYSBURG

Infantry proficiency is a main focus of the armed forces during this time of war, but proficiency doesn’t have to be maintained in a tactical training environment with tons of gear, fatigues and camouflage paint. A Co. 1st platoon took the time out of their ceremonial duties to brush up their infantry proficiency through the classroom and touring methods at Gettysburg, Pa.
“This trip gave the 0311 or infantrymen a chance to conduct a full fledge battlefield study,” said Capt. Sean M. Shea, A Co. 1st platoon commander. “They toured battlefield to learn about the tactics used, decisions made and the terrain fought on.”
The platoon left early morning March 23 to set out for the monumental battlefield. After arriving the platoon sat in on an electronic map class that showed through a show of lights the Union and Confederacies movements throughout the three days of engagement.
After the electronic map class and a short walk, next on the menu was the Gettysburg Cyclorama. While in near darkness, the Marines listened to a presentation of the sounds of war; cannon booming, voices screaming and rifles firing. One by one, the lights slowly came on, unveiling the oil painting that defines the sounds that were being absorbed in the circular room.
Next the Marines were guided through grassy field, peach groves and roads filled with monuments by a licensed battlefield guide, David Weaver. As the Marines were driven around the battlefield, Weaver explained in detail all three days of the engagement to reinforce the information the classes they were given just prior to coming to Gettysburg.
Prior to the trip was a visual and physical exercise that pointed out a few of the aspects of the battle of Gettysburg. The Marines were given classes by their squad leaders on General Beauford’s holding action at Gettysburg, Little Round Top and its importance in the battle and Pickett’s charge, the South’s last offensive action. All were highlights of the battle.
The platoon was also given the opportunity to watch the movie, “Gettysburg,” to gain a better idea on the tactics and strategies used, study the decisions made that caused the turning point of the war.
“Junior Marines, other than those in Schools, rarely get an opportunity to tour Gettysburg with a unit,” said Shea. “This is their job, it is important for them to learn about the battle tactics used then, to better understand what we use today.”

-30-

Merry Christmas all... and a to all a good fight.. I am home for the first time in a year. i'm so happy.

I am Mother fucking home...

Cherry Chap stick and those sinful brown eyes did me in.
Beauty is in the eyes of the blind
blinded by yours, i never knew what i was getting myself into
blindness is bliss.
I only know your actions, i do not see them
Half better off than i would be with eyes, but
because I know, I am dead...dead on the inside
Unable to find my way out of your shadow
This epic story of our love-hate reality is a tragic one indeed...It carries on... It carries on...

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: humming of the computer...noise in the hallways.Damn Marines

So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.




I'll be home in week and three days.

Current Music: EmoCore

I thought she was joking, when she said she was leaving
Then I witnessed her pack her bags and get into the car.
"This is the last time your going to see me," she said,
"Get a better view of me driving away with your broken heart."

"What is the world coming to," she said with a knife in hand.
Just days ago I replied, "The world is only how you see it."
Right after, she buried the glossy blade just past skin deep
Leaving a statement that yelled, ”You will always remember me.”

Now I sit here on my own, strapped down to this chair,
I can only dream of escape, eternity is inevitable.
She sealed my fate the day she left me here to die
From my wounded heart and lonely memories.

"What is the world coming to," she said with a knife in hand.
Just days ago, I remember what she said
When she tattooed my chest with her steel,
My best friend is her haunting memory.

"Well your dying and i'm leaving, that's my end of the bargain," she said
Just days ago, we said, "Until death do us part"
Untied and Slowly dying. Day-by-day, I'm dying slowly
I've held up my end of the deal
She took part in parting to soon
Her best friend will be her lonely grave stone under a lonely moon

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Death Cab For Cutie on repeat in my head

skaish is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Gun Fire... Music to my ears

Hello everyone.
It has been a "Hot Minute" has it not? Update on life. Work.. i love my job, but it can sometimes be too much to handle. I think i am doing well in my field but whatever. It can just stress you out so much. On that note. because of work and the same ole same routine i was in, i had ot get out of D.C. for the weekend. So i headed down to WilliamsBurg, Va. and i stayed the whole weekend with my girlfriend in her dorm.(Yes I have actually settled down) And We did absolutely nothing. It was awesome. I didn't have anything to worry about. no set time to get up. and no plans barely any money. It was the best time i've had on a weekend in a long time. Other than those two things... I am taking the Mustang back home.. buying a Blazer lined up for me and plan on buying a Bike in the Spring. because riding in this area at that time of year is awesome. but kids it is time for me to get some chow. i am a hungry little pup..YouhhRah

Ya Boy ErnDog

Today i leave for a government sponsor trip to Denver Colorado and San Fran, Cali.
Never been past texas folks. I can't wait. Did i mention you all / your parents paid for it... Tax payer's dollar ladies and gents. I do not think i am coming home any time soon due to the fact i am broke, but i am going to make it home for Christmas. I think I am going to come home for 10 days. Which will be a change for me because in late December here... it will be snowing. As it did last year in December when i came to this area. I've been thinking quite seriously about selling Sucubus...The Mustang. which is a hard thing to do considering i have over 9 grand invested in it, not to mention the bad ass 5.0 HO engine in that bitch. I have yet to begin dating again...I think i'm stretching for 3 years now. Other than pointless waste of my time(going on shitty date or hook ups) I have yet to met a girl that is worth wasting my time on up here. I need a Southern girl. I miss the Southern women. I miss the South. The women up here are worthless. I need a girl from down there to move up here and I just randomly stumble into her at the Metro... Or Starbucks or even on the streets. I think... I'm ready for another girlfriend. Nothing serious like engagements or marriage or anything like that, but i'm ready for another relationship. I have to go now..Enjoy your weekend kids. I am sure i will.

Love all,
Barnesie

Today... Is the last parade day for a while. I can't wait until it is over. I get two 96's (four day weekends) in a row. and on top of it..when i come back to work... I go TAD (temporary additional duty) to Colorado and Cali for 4 days with the Silent Drill Platoon. It should be interesting. I have Family in Colorado so i think i'll be visiting. I have never been out of the south... Other than to go to Ohio... and New Jersey one time.... but never been past Texas... I cannot wait. I am making more and more friends day by day.. Mostly Marines still. but good people. I can't wait until today is over. Let me hear from the people i care about... Let me know what is going on in your lives...

Love Uncle Ernie

...Like my subject says. i still do not know to many people other than Marines and all my other friends are going back to college...or already gone. People i care about e mail me and let me know how the water looks on your side of the bridge.


Love Uncle Ernie

P.S. Plus is my Parents are in town with my grandma.. it has been nice to see them again. they look damn good. lost alot of weight.

I have such a shitty week ahead of me. but i did buy a new sound system for me car. and i'm pissed off. i have to work on saturday.

Everyone knows my Friday went well. Saturday i didn't get very far in car shopping but oh well. i did test drive a Scion xB and a Honda Civic. i liked both of them but a Civic is more affordable. After car shopping i went to visit my old roommates family and ate dinner with them and then went back to the barrack to prepare for OzzFest. I tailgated with Marines for a while saw almost every back. it was fucking awesome. During HateBreed i was involuntarily lifted up to crowd surf and thrown into the Mosh Pit with bite eyes bushy tail flip flops and all. well i didn't want to be in there with flip flops on but my Gunny insisted but pushing me back in that i should be in the pit.. i was not having it... i started swinging kicking laying mother fers out.. They lit the fire under the small guy and i was rocking worlds and changing lives. Boom bitch take that. then it was over.. i went to the EMTs to get my bleeding ass foot taken care of. after that witnessed what is called the Parting Seas.. It was a gaggle fuck. saw the big bands .. Judiest Priest, Slayer, SlipKnot, BLACK SABBATH.. and now i'm going to medical.

Today... i met Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey. (Senior Drill Instructor from full metal jacket) . I have a parade tonight and should be going out after.. it should be a good night after the parade. car shopping tom. and sunday OZZFEST.... HATEBREED... ATREYU... BLACK SABBATH!!!

Jesse

I am home....

I go on leave at 16:30 tomorrow. i still have to work the evening parade but oh well. I catch a cab at 03:30 Saturday i get on a plane at 06:00. and fly into atlanta. My dad will Pick me up and i will drive to Phenix City to pick up my car and i will be on my way to my family reunion in Panama city Beach Flordia. stay the night.. and then OnWard to BATON ROUGE....